The raised hand
Your failed attempt to peel away
Your own skin
It was too tough
Calloused
Trapped in
You wouldn’t
You couldn’t let me in
The closest thing
To an open door
Left me jaw-dropped
My words scattered
On the floor
In a panic
An ill-informed attempt
At balance
I juggled my duties
My fears
My phone line therapies
In another room
So that you couldn’t see me
Weak
When all I should’ve been
Was in the room
Next to you
They slither in through
The cracks in the pavement
Unannounced and unhindered
Sometimes in sync
Other times out of sorts
Between
Before and after
The footfalls that
One in front of the other
Land on the
Still cold and wet ground
Where you left me
Behind
Their procession began
In the hours between
Your raised hand
And the last flickers
Of a mind that I didn’t
That I don’t
That I may never understand
From the labored breaths
Heralding the watch’s end
Onward into my nights’ darkness
And the shadow cast upon my days
Like the knocked-out wind
By a relentless flurry of blows
Again and again I am
Subjected to the tightening grip
Beneath the surface
Of all that I can’t leave
Behind
The establishment
Whether organized religion
Pop culture
Mass media
Or government
Will never take
The narrow road
Found in humility
Through faith
A path traveled upon
Through bright heights
And shadowed valleys
But always paved with grace
And leading to a place
We’ve never been
Jesus said, “For judgement I have come into this world, so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind.” -John 9:39
A cardboard box
Your shroud
Grease-stained coveralls
Draped over a tool chest
As a funeral home tapestry
But in a garage
Where opened quarts of 10W-30
Stand in as floral arrangements
And the smell of gasoline
In accordance with burial customs
Reminds those in mourning
That while it is a holding room
You would’ve chosen
You are indeed
Already
Gone
According to U2, “time is irrelevant, its not linear…” I love that line because it reminds me of the notion that I know I’ve read repeatedly in the writings of C.S. Lewis (though I don’t have any of his quotes at hand to share at the moment). I came across another quote which, while it was applied in a particular context, relates, I believe, quite well to the greater life experience:
Therefore Jesus told them, “The right time for me has not yet come; for you any time is right.” -John 7:6
I have many regrets and many opportunities in my life have been wasted. I’ve invested my heart and my mind in the wrong things far too often and, subsequently, I’ve left many tears and much damage in my wake. This morning I am most thankful that, while God sees my distant past just as clearly as my ultimate future, he covers all parts with the same sufficient grace. He knows that I can’t make it on my own and will continue loving me far beyond the time that it takes me to finally learn and subsequently apply, by his grace, his wisdom.
Skateboarder and musician Josh Harmony has a very worthwhile project in the works that he could use some help with to get off the ground. While its true that he is a pro skateboarder, the down economy has hit the skating industry as well and the funding necessary to give his new full album project the support it needs is simply not a given. He’s got some great incentives listed for pledge categories starting out as small as $1, so, please, take a moment to watch the video and give it some thought. Music from his last two EP’s LAMPS and TALLER THAN TREES have been a tremendous source of inspiration and encouragement for me in the wake of the end of my father’s battle with brain cancer. For that, I owe a great deal to Josh, Erick, and all involved with this great music. Please check out the video and consider making a pledge. Thanks.
View the video here.
