In Our Lives: The Glorious Unfolding

“…From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” Luke 12:48

My cup is absolutely spilling over. I’m sitting here on a Friday morning on my couch drinking a special select blend of Starbucks coffee that a good friend sent me (Thanks Shirley!) that I ground up just two days ago and brewed in a French press this morning. Fortunately, it isn’t my coffee that’s spilling over. No, all of that is being enjoyed the way it should be. What IS spilling over is my recognition of all of the good that is happening in my life that I have to be thankful for.

I’ve witnessed God’s plan, devised long before I drew my first breath, unfolding in a wonderful way over the past two years. In the words of Steven Curtis Chapman, it has been a very “glorious unfolding.” Yes, for those familiar with my story, it has had A LOT to do with The Hands & Feet Project (you can read more about that here), but, I’ve noticed other ways that His plan has been spilling out before me, too.

God has been doing amazing things with my family. We’ve been settling into a new church over the past year and seeing the positive effect that this new environment and community has had on my wife and kids has been nothing short of a privilege to witness. Without knowing my wife and kids, you wouldn’t have any point of reference to notice the dramatic change that I’ve seen in them, but, trust me when I say that my faith in the notion that God knows what He’s doing, and that He will do amazing things if we just get ourselves out of the way and let Him work, has been affirmed and emboldened many times over in the past two years.

So, what now? Now, I will continue to seek His purpose for my family and I. A friend recently introduced me to the word sovereign. It is a word that I may have heard before, but, had no idea what it meant and I had certainly not ever used it. Just in case you, the reader, don’t know what it means, I’ll give you an in-my-own-words definition of sovereign: God is good and everything He does, as a result, is also good whether we understand it or not.

I recognize at this point in my life that there is nothing in my house, my garage, my shed, or my bank account that can offer me any security. Sure, I could work my tail off to fill each of those with things that I think will make me feel more secure, but, the fact is, there is nothing that I can do to protect myself or better myself as a person.

There will always be external circumstances that can compromise, if not completely destroy, what I think I have. So, instead of building up my stores, focusing on the substance of life is my goal. In Randy Alcorn‘s book, THE TREASURE PRINCIPAL, he emphasizes the biblical principle that whatever possessions we gather here on earth are subject to forces and circumstances beyond our control:

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.”

Matthew 6:19

Alcorn makes the point that while the material things that we collect and gather over the course of our lifetime are finite, treasure that we build up in heaven by living out God’s will in our daily lives, is eternal. Whatever we think is good here is temporary and fleeting in comparison to God’s infinite purpose.

Yet, this is not a matter of working hard to serve others here so that I can benefit down the road. No, from my perspective, there is great satisfaction that can come from serving others here and now and, hopefully, giving them a chance to see the hope that lives in me. It is out of gratitude for the blessings and purpose that God has given me that I seek to help and serve where I am called to do so.

If I were $10,000 in debt and you handed me a check for $20,000 to cover that amount and give my bank account a little breathing room to boot, I would, without a doubt, feel compelled to, at the very least, shake your hand and say thank you! But, I am even more compelled to let His will work in me and to serve in the manner that He has called me, since He has taken my life, void of vision and deeply in debt to all of these things in the world that I thought were worth my time and, instead, has filled my days with a real and tangible purpose and awareness that He can do things with and through me that will have far-reaching positive consequences for his kingdom beyond what I can possibly comprehend!

I truly believe that it is our responsibility as believers to look for where the need is greatest and, then, to look for ways that we can address that need. That is precisely what Christ did and what I will continue to do going forward. His grace has and will continue to be sufficient in my life and I will gladly move forward, one step at a time, without as big of a concern for a final destination, but, instead, with every breath, a prayer of thanks and a request for guidance to know where to land each new footfall on the path that He has prepared for me.

“I’m Not Afraid. No, I’m A Believer”

“I just don’t understand why it has to be this way.” Those were the most honest words my dad ever uttered to me with regards to the cancer that was, at the time, just a few short months away from finally robbing him of his life. My dad was a product of his generation: a man who worked hard and didn’t talk about his feelings. It was an extremely difficult pill for him to swallow. He had an amazing track record of getting the short end of the stick. He wouldn’t have been a good poster child for the notion that people get what they deserve. It was a horrible way for his life to end and anyone who reads this blog or who knows me at all, knows that the seventeen month journey that I endured, from the moment my dad was diagnosed with brain cancer until the midnight moment when he passed away as I sat with him in his bed, was a terribly dark, trying, and painful journey for me, too. It was like watching a fatal car crash happen in slow motion over the course of over a year’s time. As his main caretaker, I was there at every turn carrying a progressively heavier load as his condition worsened to the point where he couldn’t talk or do anything for himself. The description of those months as the darkest period in my life is, to say the least, an understatement.

As dark as it was, though, the backdrop of shadows revealed a thread that was just beginning to strengthen and glimmer intermittently, reflecting a faint, still, small hope that peace would be found, at some point, further down the road. It wasn’t, however, a hope that relieved my pain or a miracle that washed all of my stress and fear away. Nor was it a time machine that could beam me to some future point and time in my life when I would be stronger. It was, simply, “the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen,” (Hebrews 11:1). I can’t remember exactly how or when, in the midst of that journey, I came across Psalms 18:16-19, but, when I did, it was immediately relevant and became the main security handle that I have held onto tightly ever since:

“He reached down from on high and took hold of me;he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support. He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.”

The identity and timing of “a spacious place,” however, remained a mystery to me until the naming of Kevin Max as the new lead singer of rock outfit Audio Adrenaline.  Heartfelt encouragement from Kevin to consider “the least of these” set off a series of events, one of which was an introduction to the work of The Hands and Feet Project. As described in a prior post titled, “How To Live Life,” I was inspired to step out in faith and commit to donating profit from the sale of my Dad’s house to The Hands and Feet Project. After making the donation and relaying my Dad’s story and an explanation of how the donation came about, Hands and Feet Project director Mark Stuart extended a generous gesture by asking if they could name the kitchen in a new building that is currently under construction in honor of my dad.

Without going into too much detail, the redeeming and burden-lightening effect that his gesture had on my family and I with regards to the memory of my dad, a guy who always worked hard and looked out for others, but, seldom received his due, was nothing short of monumentally life-changing. Almost instantly, the weight of several months of my life characterized by mourning and wondering how to navigate life without the man who was the best man in my wedding, my best friend, my Dad, started to lift and a new and inspired life swelling with purpose and hope began to emerge. With one kind gesture, my Dad’s legacy would be  shifted from one of loss and emptiness to one of eternal hope in a vocational school kitchen from which teenage Haitian orphans would be receiving their daily meals as they developed skills to become productive Haitian citizens.

I know that Audio Adrenaline’s (the band that started The Hands And Feet Project in 2006) new song “Believer” is being explained by the band as the story of blind surfer Derek Rabelo, but, it wasn’t long after the album’s release that I found my own story told in the lyrics of the song. From an adult life characterized at first by complacency, and then by utter darkness, to a life of purpose and meaning, learning how to step into places where Jesus wants those who are His to go,  mine has changed significantly. Now it is I who am finally “giving up, letting go of control,” not only as I make preparations for a January 2014 short term mission trip with The Hands and Feet Project to Haiti, but, also, in my daily life. I’m learning that my personal comfort and convenience are not a priority, but, that loving others as myself, and in doing so, honoring God above all, are the priorities that matter. In fact, I’m learning, now, about what living life more abundantly really feels like. Each moment spent in my classroom teaching fifth graders is more passionately invested. Each hug and kiss from my wife and kids is more distinctly savored.

Like Derek Rubelo, I can’t necessarily see the waves of life coming, but, learning to feel my way through, with faith,  “I can walk on the water with You, Lord.”

I want to live this live unsafe, unsure, but not afraid – What I want is to give all I got somehow, giving up letting go of control right now – ‘Cause I’m already out here, blind but I can see, I see the way You’re moving – God how I believe that I can push back the mountains, can stand on the waves – I can see through the darkness, I’ll hold up the flame – Take me to the ocean, I want to go deeper, I’m not afraid no, I’m a believer – And so I lose this life to find my way and come alive – They can try to deny what’s inside of me, but there is more, can’t ignore all the things unseen – Oh I believe I can walk on water with You, Lord – When I walk through the valley of the shadows, when I’m trapped in the middle of the battle, I will trust in You – ‘Cause trouble comes, but you never let it take me, I hold fast ‘cause I know that You will save me – I will trust in You, I will trust in You – Oh here I stand all alone waiting on you, Lord, waiting on You

Learn more about The Hands & Feet Project at http://www.handsandfeetproject.org/

Brain Tissue

It feels like demons treading daintily on the tissue of my brain again. The truth about who I really am is that I sometimes doubt. My peace is rarely serene, but, instead a safety net spread below a troupe of frantic acrobats trying to keep from screwing up the act and putting their job in jeopardy. My flesh and my appetite for so many things ungodly restrain my momentum to a stumbling, fatigued pace. The truth is that while I can understand the variables involved intellectually, my emotions, my fears, and my groundless desires sabotage my own feet as I walk along a path that is seemingly blanketed by fog.

On the other hand, scripture does indicate that God is greatest when we are at our weakest. Author Brennan Manning warns against placing too much weight in our own abilities to accurately assess our own spiritual progress. Because the truth, I guess, is that there is nothing to progress to. I cannot will myself to right. I cannot save myself.

So, I can realize God’s grace at a surface level, but, it isn’t resonating with me at this moment. I am still left with demon foot prints on my brain tissue.

Like An Animal

Where is the humility that I used to be able to drape myself in before facing each day? It seems that, before, there was a greater sense of perspective. It was from the vantage point of someone who realized his own helplessness in, the darkness of his own sin, and was truly grateful for the unmerited grace of God. Abba, please forgive me for failing, each day, to put others before myself, and especially, for not living a life that gives you even an ounce of the glory that you deserve. My body at times feels like an empty case and my soul is just as light, able to be blown this way and that by the cold, changing winds of this life. It is a soul divided. Please, Father, Jesus Christ, water the portion that is yours and help me to starve the rest. The ignorant fool that I am sniffs the ground like an animal, begging for distraction, when what I really need is to look to you.

Alone

My response to a good friend’s question about the Brennan Manning quote featured in the sidebar on this blog:

To be alive is to be broken; to be broken is to stand in need of grace.

From my perspective, in my brokenness, being broken means to have been, at least temporarily, at a point where all of the veneers that I once hid behind have been shattered so that I could finally see with an unobstructed view. Brokenness is a level of clear perspective beyond what I settled for before. Like the night sky without the light pollution. People love light pollution. Thats why cities are so populated. People live in cities because it lessens the distance between them and other people, other things, other distractions. I find my greatest peace when I’m not distracted by the culture and amenities. I think that a lot of people flock to such things – I did at one time – because they don’t want to be alone. Once one has been broken to the point of realizing his or her need for something more and then found a fulfillment of that need that isn’t dependent upon other people, job performance, appearance, or circumstances, one can be alone – apart from culture and amenities – in peace. The light pollution that comes as a result of all of the culture and amenities obscures the infinite. People love light pollution. They love it because it temporarily pacifies their loneliness. I know a few folks who like light pollution.

After publishing this post, I just happened to come across another blog post that I interpret as a natural extension of the perspective portrayed in mine. Check it out.

Drop Your Religion

Thank you to A Complete 180 for posting this and bringing it to my attention. This is completely consistent with the truth that I have found in my life.

For more of my thoughts on this topic please check out my religion tag

God and Science, Theoretically Speaking

Science IS built on observations. However, the syntheses of observations that scientists use to frame the explanations of data gathered from observations (e.g., evolution) are theories. Theories are unproven ideas. Because they are unproven and often unable to be observed, one must choose to have faith (complete trust or confidence in someone or something) in them. The big bang is not able to be observed. Therefore, it is a theory. Creation is not able to be observed. Therefore, it is a theory. It simply comes down to a matter of what direction one chooses to direct their faith in. Atheistic scientists have chosen a direction that I have chosen to reject. I chose to reject it because it provides no peace or directive for me to live my life, love, and raise a family. Why, honestly, would anyone choose a perspective on life that only offers a dead end with no prospect of meaning?

That being said, I think there is plenty of room for science within the context of God. There are multiple perspectives on the biblical account of Creation, but, simply put, if God explained everything about creation in the bible, it would require volumes. The point is that God is responsible. That is the theory that I choose to place my faith in.